I've got the mad skills

I don’t need to impress any men. I've got one, and even then he's easily impressed.
"Your features are nicely arranged on your face"
But there's one I really want to impress.


My tutor.

Before you say eww and run off to make a sexual harassment claim on his behalf , stop! It's not in that way.

I want to impress him with my mad shorthand skills. I've been taking rather alot recently and I think he'd be really proud. I don't know about passing to the super crazy 97% but I'm better than the average bear. [It helps having opposeable thumbs] I've used so much shorthand he'll be sending a department email out about me, instead of those make-me-want-to-sick-in-my-mouth cert students.

You'll see. He wasn't half bad today when we had our weekly meeting. Usually he alternates between making me teary and getting along with me quite well. And what makes it worse, he has the elusive gift of the gab.
Futher updates to come.

She's so dumb, rip her to shreads

The first week of internship is over and I've realised I need to get meaner.

I'm not talking rough tough wild west mean.

More like a quasi mix of gossip girl mean crossed with the mean persistance of a bounty hunter.

Journos are ruthless....

Fwends

I've been socially accepted! 

Thursday night drinks journo drinks, I was there. We were sneeky! We snuck like sneeks.

I only had to leave so I could have tea before going out to have some photos. Otherwise I still would be there.

!!! 

P.s Weasel where are you going on work experiance? Other diploma guys weren't too sure. Express?

" I'm always home. I'm uncool."

I used to be scared that I would be like the nerdy guy from Almost Famous while on my internship.  If you haven't seen that movie, pause, stop reading, grab your keys and proceed to the nearest exit, then jump in your car and going to the video store and hire it.

Anyway, basically geeky young journalist boy writes obsessively and ditto listening to old rock. I am like young journalist boy, albeit nads and about 8ish years older. As a 16 year old a beautiful older lead singer and led zepp fan told me i would end up just like little journalist boy. Beautiful singer lives in wellington now, and is an actor and I am... a junior journalist. 

Cruel fate. 

One crucial detail, however, sets me aside from the young William Miller character... A blind self-belief. He introducted himself to everyone, name dropped to everyone. I however, talk to noone at the office except supervisor and George. Nice.

But there is hope; he got deflowered, got angry then finally realised he was uncool. Check, check, check - now all i  need to do is get angry.

"Sweet? Where do you get off? Where do you get sweet? I am dark and mysterious, and pissed off! And I could be very dangerous to all of you! You should know that about me... I am the enemy!"

I...love....that....movie. 

When i grow up

Sometimes I feel as if I do not know what I want to do in life. How does one decide this? Or do people go through life in jobs they hate just for the sake of partisipating in the labour force?

FML, since starting on internship I've finished one story and half done another two. Coinsidently they have all been on school related topics. Up-side is that I'm allowed actual breaks unlike everyone of my jobs bar one. And there's sometimes food.

I have come to the conclusion that I want to be a professional learner, to just study some interesting things and if I do by chance have to enter the work force, I will be so well skilled that I can be something cool, like a professer. Those who can't do teach right? Therefore, I can talk down to people in fancy words and everyone will by default think I'm cool.

Even my bloggability is slipping. FML

Self confidence and vans

When I grow up I want to be .... cool.

Trying to be cool quote of the day. Campbell live reporter: "It's floating better than i've ever seen a van float." - because you've seen a lot of vans float?!?!?!

Like I've explained before, sometimes you meet people that you just want to be friends with. In essence they are cool. One day i will be cool.

What are your tips? 

Tomorrow, tomorrow, I'm paranoid about tomorrow

Tomorrow is internship. Andrei is not scared, I however am.

I have many questions for you all:

1. Should I bake cupcakes tonight and take 3 or 4 in the hope that someone may remark that they look great. Then want to be my friend when I give them one?

2. Is it ever ok to wear a hot-pink pencil skirt to a professional job?

3. Should I take my vast post-it collection tomorrow? Or wait a few days?

4. Will I be invited to after-work drinks?

5. Will I start reading Perez Hilton and start using the words "scrummy" and "nom noms"?

6. Should I take up smoking so I have an excuse to hang out with my co-workers?

There's a reason why doctors say nervous dispositioned people shouldn't consume caffeine....

On a lighter note: you can't spell slaughter without laughter

Internet words

Recently, I've been reading a lot of my life is average. And in due fashion, I came up with my own. [My life is so average, though I doubt my submissions would be posted]

Yesterday, I went to a sausage sizzle [nothing unusual here] and the pretty young man asked me if I would like my sausage straight or diagonal on the bread. MLIA

That made me think. When doing things in the marketplace or in any sort of advertising, people must ensure that the needs and wants of others are taken into account.

In a way, writing for the internet is much like the being the [pretty] man handing out sausages. [see what I did there]

I thought i'd relate e-writing to one of my favorite topics, food.

1. The internet is in real-time. Newspapers and magazines are not. If a reader has a query about a story they can comment on it straightaway. On websites like stuff.co.nz readers can post questions and comments instantly. With newspapers, the reader's rants and concerns might not be published till the next day. Much like the man with the sausages, I can give instant feedback if my snack was undercooked.

2. The internet is like a food court. There are millions and billions of sites people could go to. You need to attract them to yours. Much like signage, there's certain things that make your site attractive. According to a somewhat ditzy magazine exec, "pictures are the new words". Why use 1000s of words when one picture will suffice. Same goes for site navigation, make it easy for readers to traverse your site.

3. E-writing needs to be timely. Picture this: you go to your favourite fish and chip shop [insert different food type here] to get your weekly fix. But when you get it the food is cold, shriveled and smells off. It would make you mad, right? Likewise, no one likes logging onto their favourite news site to see information that broke in the media weeks ago. Keep it timely and fresh, because there's plenty of other sites to go to. The best thing about the net is that content is updateable. As new information comes in you can post it.

4. It needs to be casual. Not too casual however, we all know about my love for punctuation and spelling mistake websites. If writing for the internet was a restaurant, it would be more smart casual than black-tie. The tip here is to make it conversational and less formal than a newspaper.

5. Don't overwhelm readers. We all know daunting it is when faced with a ginormous menu. With this fact in mind, make it easy for your readers. Place text into easy to read paragraphs not 1 huge block. If in doubt think of chocolate - no one [that I'm aware of] eats a family sized block in one bite. That's why it's in segments. Let that fact inspire your writing - several little parts rather than a BIG part.

E-writing is a bit like making a Soufflé, it may fall flat the first few times, but just follow some tips and keep trying.

Dear Erica... I mean, Dangeresque...

Some people I think I am dangerous, I am not. By anymeans. Some people, however are. I may have survived the past 2 weeks on nothing more than rice and lentils but I am in no way risky. My limit is going to SEX-ercise, and now it't been changed to "goddess" class, so I sound way less cool slash dangerous slash bad. Now it just sounds like some women's empowerment class.
Once upon a time I was crazy and wild. I used to find myself at a good amount of random parties, random cars and hanging with random people. I once found myself hanging out by a stove for *no* apparant reason with a internationally famous dj at someone's flat in South City. I must reiterate it was for "no" apparant reason. Danger? I laughed in the face of danger. Camping in the snow, bathroom parties, mightnight walks. Likewise I found myself hitching to Timaru with a truck carrying frozen meat in the back and live rabbits in the cab. Bar hopping at 16, then instead of paying $10 divided by 4 for a taxi we'd just walk... several kms.

Geeky things I enjoy:

1. wearning my pjs as much as humanly possible (And yes, I do have a onesie pjama suit, however they do not make adult ones with feet.)

2. Planning meals. I have my next 15 dinner meals planned, and a good number of lunches

3. Cutting out good recipies and pasting them into a book. There must be more of us on the internet? Links wanted. I know of one other person who delights in this practice, needless to say we are friends.

4. Reading self development books. I, however detest calling them self-help. I have a good number of them.

5. Reading books because I think I should. I know certain books should be read, because that's just what you do. Eg Lolita, War and Peace and Picture of Dorian Grey; which is co-incidently beign made into a movie. That they hope to attract teenagers to. Good Luck guys.


Misc: having a tea pot collection, silky scarf collection, soaking my own lentils/chickpeas rather than resorting to canned.

Well, I'm off to do something overwhelmingly exciting, finish my dissertation which is not due will the 25th of this month. One day I hope to be rebellious like Dragon Man and do my assignments one night before.. or at 5am on the day. One day also, I will say yes to everything I get asked to do. But I am still working up to this.

Your imput is needed.